The Solid Kind of Happy
Sunday, July 4, 2010 at 9:47PM I've been wonderin' about my human family a lot lately. Not the pinin', missin' kind of wonderin', but the curious kind. I think it's 'cause my human birthday is coming up. I haven't told Bill or Sookie or anyone about it. Doesn't really matter anymore, I guess, it's not like I'm going to turn eighteen. But like, what's my mama wearin' today? That yellow cardigan she wears when there's a draft, or the blue turtleneck for when she's doin' housework, with a hole in the sleeve? And my daddy, is he watchin' the game? How many beers has he already had tonight? I guess I do start to feel, I don't know, something, when I think about Eden. She's stuck back there with those lame excuses for parents. Sure, she was a pain in the ass sometimes, what little sister ain't, but she didn't do nothin' wrong. She doesn't deserve the belt. It used to be daddy wouldn't beat her as much. He'd mostly just look at her like he wanted to, but then send her to her room without dinner instead. But now that I'm not there to take all the heat, I just hope she isn't getting it extra hard.
Parta me wants to go back there and kidnap her. I mean, I wouldn't turn her into a vampire, but maybe I could just show her there's a big world out there. Bigger than that house and that church and that idiotic little life. She could meet a boy, like I met Hoyt, and be happy. The real kinda happy. Not the passin' kind, but the solid kind. She deserves that, hell, all nine year olds do. She'll be ten next week, actually. Our birthdays were real close together. It's strange when you think about it, she'll be ten, then eleven, then twelve, pretty soon she'll be older than me. And I'll just be one of those memories to her, like dust particles floatin' through the room, gettin' caught in your throat or whatever. They're always there, but you can't see 'em all the time, only when they hit a shaft of light.
Anyway, sorry for gettin' so heavy on y'all. I guess I just wanna dedicate this post to Eden, back home. Happy birthday, sis.
Reader Comments (178)
Dear Jessica, I can give you all the support you need. I am not a fangbanger, but I can bleed to feed.
Xoxo
hey jess, u know ya should go out there a party hard even if ur not goin to age ur sure as hell still goin to be 18 and what the hell party like its the fucking last day alive. y the hell not right? well anyways whatever u do have a good one. HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY HUN!
Much love and what the hell blood too from Houston TX!
Dear Jess (if I may call you that). I just want you to know that my thoughts are with you on this one. I would be wonderin to about my human family, if I was a vampire, its only natural. And I hope that your sister isnt takin more heat from your father, but you could always stake out their house for a night or two, then you might found out if she's doin all right. Anyways, you have my full support and I hope everything turns out fine.
Love from Scandinavia
Oh, I forgot. Happy B-day Jess.
Take care now
Love (once again) from Scandinavia
Jessica, thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. I know myself and others would really help you if we could, especially with helping your sister, Eden. Happy Birthday to you and your sister, Eden. Y'all deserve happiness no matter if vampire or human.
Happy birthday Jessica. I just wanted to say that you should really talk to Hoyt. I get the feeling he really misses you, and with that mama of his talking crap about you, well, he hasn't got it any easier than your sister.
Hey Jess, I feel ya on this one. My family isnt the best family and there are many nights when I sit and wonder what their lives would be like without me. I wouldn't worry about your sister though; she isn't a baby anymore and she can take better care of herself. If you do want, once Bill comes back, maybe he can help you kidnap your sister for one night or two and see how she adjusts and acts around you and your situation... and if she doesn't like it, you can just glamour her and she can forget it all happened!
good luck with everything, you always have plenty of friends here online if you need somebody to talk to and have a very Happy Birthday :D
you might not be alive for 18 years, but you've still been here on this planet and I think thats a great excuse to go out and party! :)
A birthday still important, even if you're a Vamp or in your case a baby Vamp, Forget it won't help. it is a part of what you are, You have the right to enjoy it as you're sister. You still can celebrate it as a new year of maturity.
Kisses From France.
XoXoX
happy birthday Jessica, and Eden.
i bet writing about your woes makes you feel better... you probably do already.
hang in there.
Wishing you and your sister a very special happy birthday!
It might be best to stay away from your loved ones...even if you are curious as to what they're up too. You remember what happened last time right? And if Bill ever told you what happened when he saw his wife three years after he was declared dead/missing. Well, that didn't go so well either. If anything, just view them from a safe distance where they won't see you.
Have a good one <3