Lafayette, Lovers and Leftovers

Hey folks. First, I’d like to thank y’all for your generous input. I didn’t realize I had so many friends out there! This is a lot easier than just googling “how to be a vampire housewife” and sifting through all the crap on the internet.

So many of you - including Lisa Cheli, R.J., Andrew, and bite me - came up with the brilliant idea of microwavable dinners. Why didn’t I think of that?! Or more importantly… why didn’t HOYT think of that? katiln was right. Hoyt should understand how uncomfortable all this food stuff makes me and consider my feelings a little more. But still, there is one slight problem: Our microwave is where I heat up my Tru Blood. Call me crazy, but I don’t think I could stomach the residual smell of nuked mashed potatoes and chicken in there. And we just don’t have a crock pot, like Melinda and Dana Hilton suggested. I guess I could ask Bill for a housewarming gift, maybe one of those slow cookers, or an extra microwave? But I feel weird asking him for anything these days. I’m trying to make it on my own, you know? I don’t wanna come crawling back to daddy with my tail between my legs every time the waters get a little choppy. I’m sure sometimes I will, but I’d like to see if I can handle this one on my own.

I might have to try amber’s suggestion: bringing home leftovers from Merlotte’s. What does Lafayette do with all those extra biscuits at the end of the night, anyway? And he’s a lover, he’ll understand. If I explain my predicament to him, I’m sure he’d let me wrap up a few items before I go home if it means it can keep me n’ Hoyt together. If I haven’t screwed that up too badly already…

« The Ethics of Glamouring | Main | A House Is Not a Home »

References (2)

References allow you to track sources for this article, as well as articles that were written in response to this article.
  • Response
    Awesome Nfl Jerseys - Cheapest Price On Line
  • Response
    UGG Boots were very nicely recognized for getting the makers of high top quality footwear

Reader Comments (335)

Well, what you could do to get rid of the chicken-mashed potatoes-peas shit in the microwave is take a cup of warm water, put a slice of lemon in it and microwave it between his dinner and yours. Cleans just fine, I don't know about the smell though. Maybe if you put his stuff in sealed boxes when microwaving it?

July 4, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbabeluda

Hey, Just wondering, what was up with that weird doll that was on the floor in your and Hoyt's new place? Does it have anything to do with the Ashley Tisdale lookalike Hoyt dumped to get back with you? I know it's a lil off topic... been wondering about it for a while now.

July 4, 2011 | Unregistered Commentertbfan1988

Look your character's Vampire daddy is the King of Lousianna. The fact that you don't have more security and protection is crazy enough ( because if they hurt you they hurt Bill) , but the fact that you don't feel comfortable asking the man who forcibly turned you for a microwave is batshit crazy (pun intended). Seperate microwaves to heat up left overs from Merlottes and microwavable food seems fair enough. BTW because your character was so recently turned in the scheme of things her getting offended by some of the human things that Hoyt says seems a little outragous too. Its kinda of like she should remember what it was like being Human and not feel soooo disrespected when Hoyt doesnt want to drink her blood. Love the character love your energy ,just am a little uncomfortable with the story line, I havent had enough time to get used to the insane love to hate relationship. I cant even see where it comes from.

July 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFelicia

No way!You MUST NOT take food from Merlotte's for Hoyt!He will get crazy and he will probably ask you to break up!I find the idea of a getting a new microwave oven as a gift from Bill equally bad,but it's the only reasonable solution!So just go move your feet and ask Bill a gift for the new couple.About Hoyt's learning to cook for himself it's somehow difficult for him he has been raised as a mommy's boy and he will refuse to change his habits now.You sweetie will live FOREVER that means that someday in the future you may meet another man like Hoyt who won't probably know how to cook at all so it wouldn't be bad if YOU knew how to do this.And who knows maybe one day you will become the greatest vamp-chef all around the world!

July 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSTATBIR

Hey Jessica,
I've been watching your videos and reading your blogs for a while now. I haven't really felt comfortable posting before now; mostly because I don't really have any advice to offer a newbie vampire. I guess if you were a guy I might be able to kinda figure out some advice on the cuff. But since some of your dilemmas have focused on the feminine side; I'd feel kinda stupid trying to offer any input.

The reason I've been so enraptured by everything you've been saying is that...I guess you could say I'm a newbie fang-friender. Or actually it's more complicated than that; you see my mother disappeared when I was little; like just a baby almost. When I was a little older my dad explained how she just didn't come home one night; and no matter how long they looked they couldn't find nothing except her car parked on the side of some old back road.

Well much to my surprise she found me just a little while after all the vampires "came out"; at first I thought she was just this really friendly woman who enjoyed talking to bartenders. It took me a few nights to register that she looked an awful lot like the pictures my dad use to show me. Obviously she was paler; and a little bit...I don't wanna say meaner; I guess primal would be a better comparison. ( I had to double check the spelling on that one; laugh out loud.)

Anyways; after that she admitted who she was; and ever since then we've re-connected...or connected for the first time maybe; I don't know. But what I've been slowly trying to say is that...hearing you talk about what it's like for you being thrust into this whole new state of being; it's helped me understand what it was like for her to go through what you are now.

Thanks for starting up your stuff again; there are some questions a son should not ask his mother; alive or undead.

Randy Ray Braden

P.S. Your guy Hoyt seems like a good man; try and bare with him about the small stuff. Maybe see if that Lafayette fella you mentioned could give him some cooking lessons. Maybe then he could even find some way to spruce up your blood; just so you two can have a romantic dinner at home or something. And tell him if he's ever up around Idaho; there's a southern boy by proxy waiting to buy him a cold; not Tru Blood. =)

July 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLitheran

why dont you find a place that delivers nice dinners (like meals on wheels) but for a cost. That way you wont have to cook and the food would be better than fast food which I bet Hoyt would get tired of fast...

July 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRhonda Higgins

Sookie just got a new microwave she doesn't want. I'm sure she'd be thrilled if you took it off her hands.

July 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

The two microwaves sounds like a good idea, but frozen meals can also be heated through in the oven. Just follow directions, and set the timer on the stove.

By the way... it is 2011. I know Hoyt works and all, but he can make his own sandwiches. And men who can cook are just that much hotter.

July 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNachele

I think you're very young to be in a relationship, Jess, vampire or not and I don't think either you or Hoyt were really ready for everything that you would have to face.

Hoyt loves you, I have no doubts about that whatsoever, and I'm pretty sure you love him, but there will always be a lust for blood that is part of your make up. You will not be able to rely just on Hoyt and True Blood, you will need to find a couple of willing donors. I think Hoyt would understand this point, but he probably wouldn't understand the hottie you fed from.

Why not get a baby bottle warmer for your true blood? That way there's no residual dinner smell in your TB.

July 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Jessica :) My Darling ... Do what you're doin!! Its wonderful to see that you started hunting for yourself ;) being in a relationship "especially with a human" is unnatural for a vampire and very unfair to you ......
lol I suggest "glam" Hoyt ... he will never know the dif...
Get his dinner from merlotte's everynight is a great idea! After seeing him eat those eggs of yours .. i'm sure Lafayette does a much better gumbo :P This doesnt mean you dont love him ... I feel you're just finally being true to yourself.
xo Msdiva

July 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMsdiva
Editor Permission Required
You must have editing permission for this entry in order to post comments.