Sunday
Aug142011

Nowhere to Go

On my fifteenth birthday, after having dinner at the church with my family, I snuck out with a few friends. We said we were going to get some root beer floats at Linnea and Tony’s Diner, but instead we went to the park one town over, where the public school kids would gather with brown bagged forties and stolen vodka. I had never been before, but my friend Erica used to go all the time and she was introducing me to everyone. I forgot most of ‘em, but there was this girl there, Nikki... she smelled kinda bad, and her hair was all tangled. I think she did it on purpose, she called them dreadlocks or something, but it didn’t look so good. I asked where she was from and she said she was born in De Soto parish, but she lived on the streets now. When I asked her why, she said got nowhere else to go. Then she shrugged her shoulders, lit up a hand-rolled cigarette and smiled at me like I was the biggest idiot she’d ever seen. I never felt so sheltered, you know? I knew I was going home to my cozy little house, where my mama would be folding my underwear and baking fresh cookies or some shit. And although my daddy could be mean as a hell, I still had a roof over my head. Even after I was turned, I had the old Compton place. And then Hoyt and I had a home, all to ourselves.

But now? I really got nowhere to go. I wonder if Nikki’s still living on the streets or if she found herself a home. Or maybe home is just a feeling, and it doesn’t matter where your feet are. Maybe wherever you are, that’s home.

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Reader Comments (326)

I'm glad you were saved. The show is much better with young blood.

August 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterarthur gangell

I'm sure Sookie or your maker Bill will take you in. Bill wouldn't abandon you in your time of need and I don't think Sookie would either. If you ever get near New Jersey my home is open to you, invitation and everything. You're not homeless, you have friends.

-Kitten

August 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKitten

Things never work out the way we think they will eh Jessica? I know you are going through a rough time right now, but it will pass. As far as nowhere to go, that's not true at all. You have Bill, and it is very evident that he cares about you deeply and always will. You are part of him, and he of you. Look on this time as an opportunity to spend some more time with your maker. You are very fortunate to have Bill as your maker. He's the best.

August 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThomas

Jess, you can always return home to Bill, but that would keep you sheltered under him. Maybe you should go out and live for yourself. We all believe that you're ready. Sire your own vampire and then you could take charge.

August 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVamped

Chin up! Give it time. Things will all fall into place eventually

August 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterteisha

Jess, I totally get what you are talking about. But home is where you make it. Home is the place your heart cries out to see, even if only for a moment. I live in Tennessee, in the northeastern mountains at the base of the Appalachians. I lived in Florida for awhile but I got so homesick I just had to come back. It got so bad it was like a physical pain, being away from my family, the land I was born and raised on. When I came home, the moment I saw the mountains surrounding the valley where I live, my heart cried out inside my chest and all that pain just eased away. I work outside of my small town and every time I come home from work, as soon as I see those mountains, I have that feeling all over again. I hope you can find that. I hope you can feel what I feel when I come home, because then you'll know exactally what home is. :)

August 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKris

Forget Hoyt! He was a prick for kicking you out like that -_- Go to Bill's house. He'll welcome you with open arms of course, since your his 'child'. Keep your head up :)

August 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

OMG I cannot believe Hoyt reacted like that. A little over the top don't you think? If he can just kick you out like that without any consideration, well that is not love. I'm starting to think that maybe you two aren't ment to be together and maybe Jason and you might work. Jason is, as we all know, not to good with the relationship side of women. Give him some time, maybe let him talk to Hoyt too. In the mean time, go back to Bill's house. He loves you, you know that. And I'm sure he would be more than happy to discuss your current situation with you. Stay strong, everything will work out for the better.

Good luck to you,
xo Cassie

August 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCassie

awwww. Poor Jess.. Go to Bill's. He will take care of you.

August 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterZupps

"home" is where you make it, you can go to Bills and maybe Hoyt may take you back, but theres nothing like the feeling of being on your own. The freedom youhave when you dont have to answer to ANYONE, its the best thing in the world, next to true blood( LOL) so really weigh your options and think about a pad for yourself.
You will get through this, Vamps always seem to come out on top!
If not, you can crash at my place!!! :)
Myani!

August 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMyaniB
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