Nowhere to Go

On my fifteenth birthday, after having dinner at the church with my family, I snuck out with a few friends. We said we were going to get some root beer floats at Linnea and Tony’s Diner, but instead we went to the park one town over, where the public school kids would gather with brown bagged forties and stolen vodka. I had never been before, but my friend Erica used to go all the time and she was introducing me to everyone. I forgot most of ‘em, but there was this girl there, Nikki... she smelled kinda bad, and her hair was all tangled. I think she did it on purpose, she called them dreadlocks or something, but it didn’t look so good. I asked where she was from and she said she was born in De Soto parish, but she lived on the streets now. When I asked her why, she said got nowhere else to go. Then she shrugged her shoulders, lit up a hand-rolled cigarette and smiled at me like I was the biggest idiot she’d ever seen. I never felt so sheltered, you know? I knew I was going home to my cozy little house, where my mama would be folding my underwear and baking fresh cookies or some shit. And although my daddy could be mean as a hell, I still had a roof over my head. Even after I was turned, I had the old Compton place. And then Hoyt and I had a home, all to ourselves.

But now? I really got nowhere to go. I wonder if Nikki’s still living on the streets or if she found herself a home. Or maybe home is just a feeling, and it doesn’t matter where your feet are. Maybe wherever you are, that’s home.

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Reader Comments (326)

Serves you right. How could you possibly do what you did to the only man who accepted you the way you are. Think back to the night you met Hoyt and how down you were until he asked to join you in the booth.
While I like Jason, don't think for a second he is interested in you. Before he had your blood he showed ZERO interest in you. Your blood is intoxicating, especially for an ex V user like Jason.
My only hope is that Jason has matured enough in these last few seasons to be able to control his lust and put the emotions of his best friend ahead of himself.

Good luck finding a place. You'll have an eternity to think back on how you ruined the best thing to ever happen to you.

August 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlejandro Robierta

Everthing will work out in the end. But like my mom says everything happens for a reason. Keep your chin up. no matter what happens to you Jessica just think that there are people out there that do care for you.

August 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAyse Snyder

Got to hang tight, Bill got your back 100%, You have friends everywhere just beware of the witches

August 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTK

And screw Alejandro Robierta, you didn't ruin anything. It's like Bill said. If you've fallen out of love with him, it's not your fault. These things happen, you can't help it. And you certainly can't force it if the feelings aren't there. It's unfair to Hoyt and to yourself. You were honest like you should have been.
While I do agree, that Jason is probably only interested in you at the moment because of your blood, that doesn't mean he can't fall in love with you. Sookie only wanted Bill as much as she did because of his blood. But she ended up falling for him after being around him so much. Just because of who he was, not his blood.
Either way, just be happy, you have plenty of time to figure out what you want in this life and no need to jump right to it now. :)

August 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChelsea

jess hoyt was nasty and cruel i hope after jason through you out of the house you joined bill and friends in the fight to destroy marne. b ythe way all the men in my house hold think your hot.

August 20, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjean kollar

you can go to bill's... or you could try looking for a house of you or own... maybe like an apartment or something

like that... jessica you are strong and you dont need a man like hoyt who is so pissed that you are not loving him

every second and you are not with him praisig him every moment your awake. he needs to know that you are a

vampire and that you cant just settle with one guy forever. so you need to move on and forget about thinking

your hurting him because your not. your just continuing your life and thats ok.

August 20, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjessicaadmirre

My name is Nikki , though i have never had dreadlocks , i have smelled bad and have not had a home . being without a place to go is to be totally alone. no one who cares is anywhere around and if they do care they don't understand you..... so u can not go to them . it was like being lost , wandering and wondering how much more you can take .... and then a miricle happened , i met some one new who had no one who really knew him around . and now he is my home and i am his !

August 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNikki

These are growing pains. Seems like you need to be alone for a while to help figure your self out. Your beautiful and smart but more importantly you have a big heart.

August 20, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterfang dangle

I think you ditching Hoyt was a bad mistake.

August 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlejandra

I hate what you did to Hoyt, you broke his heart and I can understand why Hoyt is acting such a jerk because of the pain you caused him. until the end you were never honest with Hoyt like he was to you, you never told him about how you feel towards Jason, it's just wrong. I know being a vampire would have so many urges I guess that's your reason, it's hard for a vampire to be attached for so long with too many urges of blood lust. and oh by the way you shouldn't glamor Hoyt every time you fight that's why he's so in love with you.and you'll break his heart like it was just a piece of glass between you and Jason. :(

August 20, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterthe other side
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