Sunday
Sep042011

Like You Mean It

Sometimes, back when I was human, I used to pray. The real kind of praying. I had to fake it all the time when my parents were around, but when no one was looking, real late at night, I’d clasp my hands together, get down on my knees and squeeze my eyes shut as tight as I could. I’d think so hard it hurt most of the time. I don’t know if I really believed that god would hear me, or that maybe just the universe would catch wind of it. I wasn’t praying for me or for something I wanted, it was more about reaching people outside of my little life. Hoping that some missing kid I’d seen on the news would be found, or people coming home from war would be safe, that the deaf could hear and the blind could see again.

And even though I’m getting a little tired of having to save Jason with my blood, since it’s mixing up all our feelings, making it hard to tell what’s real and what’s the blood, I’m real glad I got to give him his sight back. Maybe my prayers are coming true, or maybe some things really do come full circle. Not sure what that says about god, about me, or about vampire blood, but I think it says something about the universe.

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Reader Comments (168)

trust me girl he luvs ya (Jason)... no doubt about it. you just need to stop letting hoyt get in the way! he was your

first relationship so its hard to walk away from it. it obviously wasnt luv at first sight if your having problems. you

can walk away from it, you can walk away from a relationship! you dont need to stay with one guy the rest of

your life. you are a vampire you are free to be free. but if you are having strong feelings for jason, go for it you

deserve to be happy. ;)

September 4, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjessicaadmirre

i hope you continue to pray jess. even as a vampire. prayers saves and it works. and never be selfish and pray for yourself. you did right by praying for others. when you're going through your issues or confusion with your feelings or cravings for bllod take a little time to pray first. lol goodnight hon.

September 4, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterniya

Jessica,
You did right by Jason tonight. Giving him his sight back and saving him from having horrible scars and recovery issues. Burns like that often hurt the most. You feel on fire and uncomfortable. I think, deep down, he does have feelings for you, but he is still torn between you and his best friend. Just tell him that they have had some great times together, but friends come and go and theres nothing much we can do about it. But, if he doesnt buy that then find a different guy in Shreveport or something. Life will go on. And knowing you, it will be amazingly fun. Its sad that there is only one episode left, but the blog helps with the withdrawal. I have a rough time without the show. Its what i watch when i need to get away from all of my worries for a while, when i dont want to think. It takes me into a whole other world.

Best Wishes,
Hannah

September 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTrue Blood Lover

Jason is nothing but a man whore. If your blood wasn't in him Jessica. Jason would get board with you. Just like he got board with every other woman he's fucked and slept with. You have been warned Jessica. Jason weill break your heart in the end.

September 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEdwin

Jessica,
I do believe Jason really does like you and wants to be with you. He is just worried that Hoyt, will think he (Jason) is the reason you and Hoyt didn't work out. So just give it time girl! Jason will see that you and him can be happy. If not you have a good looking guy friend with benefits! ;) Keep your head up! Your heart is in the right place.

Love ya, Rebecca

September 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

Hello, good evening Jessica, well first I want to say that no matter if God heard her or not, being good is a choice of any existing being, not dependent on the existence of God in his nature man is a being who is born with tendency to do good, and happiness, and here I speak of a real happiness, is linked directly with your good deeds, save Jason is a characteristic flourish of his own nature, and that counts for your happiness or you do not feel happy to see who saved the life of a person is Jason or not?. Second, it is difficult to know your blood and it stop transmitting their feelings, but be careful and be wise with your heart, find out if Jason really love or is just confusing to have taken his blood, let him come to you, you try to find out for yourself what you feel for you, if you have real courage to live a romance with you, moving beyond the specter of Hoyt, Jason needs to mature and stop being an insecure man and become a man of actually able to take what they feel no shame, do not get carried away by emotions, just live them, however, keep track of them otherwise they can make you a slave and takes her to destruction. Jessica you are beautiful and wonderful everything has to be a great vampire and an amazing woman, I love the fact you're the most beautiful vampire ever seen, and its essence won me over, I'm rooting for their welfare and happiness, take care.

September 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJorge henrique

hey jess, I never wrote before i started to watch your blogs and the really good!!!! I'm sorry you have to hurt so much. that's just how love is and if you didn't fell pain you wouldn't know what real love is just take sometime jason will come around and remmeber it is both of you that hurt because of hoyt and he will get better over time to and it is always best to do for others then your self but sometime you do need me time well that's all now.
Asia

September 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterasia

Wow, Jess, what a great way to look at it! Maybe you can do great things in your vampire life...saving people's lives seems to suit you :) Now, i know about your feelins for Jason and well the only thing I can tell ya girl is be careful, what with Hoyt and all, and if it's right then it's right. Oh, and if prayin is something that was close to your heart, is close to your heart, just because you're a vampire doesn't mean that all has to go out the window. Sometimes at night, even though I know they'll never come true, I like to wish upon the stars. It gives me some comfort--just knowin that at least I've said my peace. Anyway, i'll stop ramblin on now. Get some rest girl! You've had a rough couple of nights!
Love always,
KT

September 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKT

love youuuu

September 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSilje Veronica

sweetttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

September 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLevi
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