Like You Mean It

Sometimes, back when I was human, I used to pray. The real kind of praying. I had to fake it all the time when my parents were around, but when no one was looking, real late at night, I’d clasp my hands together, get down on my knees and squeeze my eyes shut as tight as I could. I’d think so hard it hurt most of the time. I don’t know if I really believed that god would hear me, or that maybe just the universe would catch wind of it. I wasn’t praying for me or for something I wanted, it was more about reaching people outside of my little life. Hoping that some missing kid I’d seen on the news would be found, or people coming home from war would be safe, that the deaf could hear and the blind could see again.

And even though I’m getting a little tired of having to save Jason with my blood, since it’s mixing up all our feelings, making it hard to tell what’s real and what’s the blood, I’m real glad I got to give him his sight back. Maybe my prayers are coming true, or maybe some things really do come full circle. Not sure what that says about god, about me, or about vampire blood, but I think it says something about the universe.

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Reader Comments (168)

Whatever your feelings for Jason, you should step back and let him come to terms with his relationship (and guilt) with Hoyt first. If you enter into a new relationship with those negative feelings hanging over your head, you will always wonder what impact that had on your future. Take your time and things will happen soon enough on their own, with or without your blood!!

September 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmelia

Jessiica, It may seem like the things happening are hard to explain, but know all things happen for a reason, who knows. maybe out there in the universe your prayers are being answered, maybe its Karma. I dont know, but one thing is for certain, You are here and a vampire for a good reason.
Think on that.

September 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMyaniB

Here is my interview with the actress who plays "Maurella" (Kristina Anapau):

September 6, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdamon

your amazing. I know i got all hard core the last time on your other post. But know ive changed my mind from what ive read. go for jason..he saved you again and for him to do that. is really strong passion and the courage of a hero. He's yours and dont ever loose him. Be great to one another and i promise you'll be free. XD Plus now, on the the down side we have bigger problems....Marnie is back and she is now in control of Lafeyette. BE CAREFUL!!!!!!! So we shall talk again soon.
<3 Shay your Vampire Elder and friend :D

September 6, 2011 | Unregistered Commentershay

So.... we're 11 episodes into the series, and you've released 2, maybe 3 vids on your blog..... I'd rather not have to read. Please post more vids. Kthanksbai.

September 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEnkil

We're here for you, Jess. Don't ever doubt it. Whatever road you take, you will always be our favorite baby vamp.
Sometimes when life calls for a leap of faith, you end up falling flat on your ass. But at least you can say you had the guts to leap. Choose what you know in your heart to be the right thing to do. And if it turns out to be the wrong decision then deal with it when it comes. Don't live your life afraid of what might happen around every corner or you will end up having not lived your life at all.

September 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChristy

You must feel like a superhero now, being able to safe people's lifes. How wonderful!

Maybe angels are allowed to have fangs?

September 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnanka

@Christy Wonderfully put darlin'. You mirror my sentiments exactly. I usually sum it up along these lines:

- Try and you might fail. Don't try, and you have failed already.


- Not trying has a guaranteed 100% failure rate.

Living is not about avoiding risk. It's about respecting risk and asking yourself "Can I live with the consequences?".

September 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSenine

Good arguments!!!

And yes, we would love to have some more videos. I hope we get one at the end of the season, especially for the last blog this year. But i'm sure we will get one.

Hopefully with Jason as a special guest :D

September 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVampy

Focus on you for a while. Things haven't worked out for you when you've made big leaps of faith. Plus I doubt Jason will be as understanding as Hoyt. Maybe this is good though because he is now getting some back bone!

September 7, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjessica thompson
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