The Often Strange and Sometimes Unexpected Perks of Being a Vampire

The most obvious? Glamouring… hello! You can make humans do whatever you want them to.


Heightened senses! I could hear what Sookie was saying about Debbie Pelt and Tara all the way from Jason’s bedroom (where we were just talking, I swear - no funny business). We vamps can hear, see, touch and smell the shit outta everything. Our sense of taste is somewhat limited, but you can’t have it all, can you?


Investigative training? Who needs it… we’re already suited to a life of solving crime! Just ask Deputy Jason Stackhouse.


My seasonal insomnia is loooong gone. Now when I go to ground, I’m dead. I don’t have to worry about falling asleep.


Moving? Call a vampire. We can carry shit your regular Joe Shmo mover couldn’t dream of, and we don’t need any damn back braces.


I can text super-fast. Type super-fast. And read super-fast. If only I’d had that skill back in bible school…


And finally, my personal favorite, I don’t get cold anymore, or at least I don’t feel it. My body temperature pretty much stays the same. Which means I can wear these little bandage dresses no matter what the weather’s like outside. Pretty cool, huh?


Y’all got any fun ones?