The Often Strange and Sometimes Unexpected Perks of Being a Vampire

The most obvious? Glamouring… hello! You can make humans do whatever you want them to.

Heightened senses! I could hear what Sookie was saying about Debbie Pelt and Tara all the way from Jason’s bedroom (where we were just talking, I swear - no funny business). We vamps can hear, see, touch and smell the shit outta everything. Our sense of taste is somewhat limited, but you can’t have it all, can you?

Investigative training? Who needs it… we’re already suited to a life of solving crime! Just ask Deputy Jason Stackhouse.

My seasonal insomnia is loooong gone. Now when I go to ground, I’m dead. I don’t have to worry about falling asleep.

Moving? Call a vampire. We can carry shit your regular Joe Shmo mover couldn’t dream of, and we don’t need any damn back braces.

I can text super-fast. Type super-fast. And read super-fast. If only I’d had that skill back in bible school…

And finally, my personal favorite, I don’t get cold anymore, or at least I don’t feel it. My body temperature pretty much stays the same. Which means I can wear these little bandage dresses no matter what the weather’s like outside. Pretty cool, huh?

Y’all got any fun ones?

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Reader Comments (47)

God Jessica. Stop cramming Jason down our throats. He's not that good. I can't wait until you wake up and find that out.

July 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEdwin

The way you swooped in and helped save Sookie's ass was really awesome and sweet. Everyone knows you didn't have to do it, yet you dd. It's proof that vampir powers can be used for god. Well done. :)

July 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBabyvamp Kate

...if I recall correctly, last year you didn't feel so good about glamouring people.

July 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterConstance

We Love You Jessica, Keep Biting Hard! ^^

July 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSueprFun

hey keep growing up like you are. You are on track to be one hell of a vampire. You are exactly where you need to be. You were born to be a vampire.

July 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNathan

Aha!, You can stay fit & not drive! Just run!
Enjoy yourself Jess! You've got all of my support.

July 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEve

I hope u can talk to Tara. She already had a lot of anger issues and I'm sure she could use some advice from a younger/older vampire.

July 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterOnce Bitten

Jason and Jessica are meant for each other, super hot couple and Jason needs someone strong to help him with his countless insecurities. Jessica should be a monogamic vamp and be with Jason!

July 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStasia

Jessica, you smoke!

July 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGeorge

You are fab Jessica!!! If I was ever a vamp i would wanna be like you.,.You need to get a Twitter account though

July 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkrisd
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